Thoughts on a Battle

There was a battle today.

The first, hopefully last, battle I’ve seen with this group.

A Sahuagin raiding party attacked during my watch. Middle watch, arguably the worst of the night.

It all happened so fast; the Sahuagins boarded and I raised the alarm. While the sailors cowered belowdecks, this new group I find myself with quickly – and I mean quickly – dispatched the raiders.

Qwillin even chased stragglers through the sea with a vengeance I feel deep in my soul. I do wonder what happened to him that brought that ire out. His hatred was palpable. I could only stand in terror at the gunwale, watching him duke it out with Sahuagin while avoiding the sharks. Bastien helped, though not as much as he could have.

Thankfully, Qwillin is safely back aboard and we continue on our way to retrieve Lord Brendley.

This raid brings much up for me. Is there ever a point where violence is just?

If my party hadn’t killed the Sahuagins, they most certainly would have killed all of us and captured The Pacific. The actions of my party have saved our lives, those of the crew, and that snooty Butler; they have saved a ship and a livelihood and a belly full of cargo.

Does protection of life and property justify killing an entire group? Kill or be killed, and I would be lying if I said I was not relieved to be on the side of victory.

I am uncomfortable with my own role in how this battle played out. There I was, keeping my companions safe, when this Sahuagin baron hit me. I panicked and before I even considered the consequences of my actions, heated his metal armour. I’m afraid I was complicit in his downfall, though my cooking him alive was not his final blow.

Was my own act of violence just given the situation? I saved my own skin at the sacrifice of someone else intending me harm. Is violence in defence of myself any better than offensive violence, regardless of the aggressor?

This will sit with me while I ponder.

A senseless attack. A senseless loss of life. A senseless victory.

Would this be our last act of violence on the voyage. With Bloody Maggie’s threat and our agreement to not lay down arms, I fear it will not be.